It's 3am now. I've gotta wake up in 3 hours time to get prepared and go to college due to transportation problem (Man, I wish I had a car). I'm currently having my insomnia again. Perhaps it's due to kitchen class tomorrow. I'm honestly not looking forward for it *roll eyes*.
Here come's the unclear confession I suppose. A few week's back, I admit that I've lost my enthusiasm when it comes to my kitchen practical classes. I remembered how I would make a list to pack; what to bring according to what I have planned on making. But now I just couldn't care any less. Hmmm...
I used to browse through the menu and start planning on it a week before class. Sometimes I'd think too much that it would cause me being unable to sleep for days. Plus, it's not like the class is tomorrow or anything.
The excitement and adrenaline rush in me to go for kitchen class were my motivations to excel in it. I know I'm not good in cooking but I still give it at my very best. It may not be perfect, but at least it looks good and presentable.
The problem now is, why did I lose my enthusiasm just like that? I really do not know. Could it be:
1) My chef has super high expectations in my group and I cannot deliver to his standards and expectations?
2)I am pushing myself too hard by complicating things and I'm getting tired?
3) More concerns are only given towards appetizer and main course but not towards the desserts? Seriously, when it comes to tasting the dessert or presentation, not much thought is put into it! Dessert is the only category which I'm hoping very highly to get good marks at but I'm not getting any appreciation for the desserts.
4) Maybe cooking just isn't my thing? I did not say baking yeah!
5) Lack of motivation?
6) No inspiration?
7) Sick of the limited ingredients provided? (Seriously, I have to crack my damn brain to think of what to make)
8) Too many imposed techniques (techniques specifically I must do) given when it only requires you to do a few.
and the list goes on....
This also explains why there aren't any pictures from my previous class. It would be a total lie if I'd say I forgot to snap them (okay, maybe sometimes I do forget) because I feel that I would never serve someone an ugly dish like that. What more posting it and sharing it? It's just embarrassing, really. Also, to the fact I actually have the guts to serve it to the juries, that's even more worse!
Oh dear! Just 4 more weeks before finals. I have to get back my flame of enthusiasm back once more! Wish me luck for tomorrow's class ;).
***IF you do not see any pictures of my class for tomorrow, it means that I failed once more and is totally not inspired to snap a picture of it.***
6 comments:
good luck!!! at least u hav a basis of passion for cooking. =D
@Vincent: Merci beaucoup! *hugs*
let nothing stop you from your becoming a pastry master. hardwork and good luck.
helix
I truly understand how you feel right now but one thing you must be clear is that in everything we do or study, there are always some obstacles or difficulties and it's because of these hardships that is pushing us to work even harder to strive for success which we will be grateful and be proud of.
Don't give up! Keep going! No matter how difficult it is! Don't be despair when the chef criticise your food. You should be thankful that the chef did that because imagine if the chef didn't say anything, it means he's not interested in your work at all or it just taste ok, average, nothing great to shout about. So the next time the chef criticise, do remember that it's because he wants you to do better and work harder to excel.
Lastly, I recommend you to watch the film Julie & Julia (starring Meryl Streep). It's about French cooking. I blogged about it in my blog before. Have you watched it before?
@Helix: Thanks for the encouragement! :D
@Will: I just realized that I have problems with my palette :S
@CJ: Thanks for the support! :D
I mean, I know that the chef criticizes our food for our own good. But sometimes when I tried my very best but yet I cannot deliver makes me feel tired and frustrated :S
Anyways, I've watched that show already! I loved it so much and Meryl Streep was so good at her acting. A very truly inspiring movie for me (personally)! :)
Do you wanna exchange email and facebook, msn chat? So we can chat easier instead of going through the blog's comment box. You can email me at calvinsblog@yahoo.com
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